Keep It Brief
by Sebastian Corbascio
“If you’re going to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk.”
~Tuco, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
“Actions speak louder than words”
~Anonymous
“Action is character.”
~F. Scott Fitzgerald
Writing better dialogue frequently means removing existing dialogue and replacing it with action, or substituting action before putting any dialogue down. All screenwriters have to seriously acquaint themselves with the great films of the silent era, and how the Sennett two-reelers and the Chaplin shorts moved forward and kept the audiences rapt. There are a set of ground rules. The great writers of today are not really doing anything different than the silent era gag writers. The secret? Brevity.
The stage loves words, cinema loves movement. Say what you want to say in the briefest possible way. If that means taking out an entire speech, and replacing it with an arched eyebrow, do so. If you have to choose between the two, arched eyebrow packs a greater punch.
What to do about exposition: exposition that is not ammunition murders a screenplay. In the great scene in Godfather II where Hyman Roth (Lee Strasberg) brags to Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) that “we’re bigger than US Steel”, Hyman Roth is not saying that for the audience’s benefit. He is using the carrot-stick approach with Michael Corleone, telling him that it’s in Michael’s best interest all around to get on board. Michael will be rich, avoid a gang war and maybe be the first Italian President of the United States. If this speech came out of the blue without the two million not reaching the island, audiences would nod off. It’s a brilliant speech, but without the plot points that came before it, it’s stunt writing.
The same goes for Jensen’s (Ned Beatty) speech to Howard Beale (Peter Finch) in the classic film Network. Jensen’s Hitleresque speech swaying the already fragile Beale to embrace his world concept is not only a thrill, but serves as a plot point, ultimately leading up to Howard Beale’s assassination at the hands of the UBS Mandarins. Without the precedent, and then, third act, it’s stunt writing. So as a general rule, avoid long speeches unless they push the story forward.
Gangsters and love stories: why is the gangster genre so enduring? One of the reasons is because the gangster has to think half a second faster than his adversary; often his life depends on it. A nod speaks volumes; a facial tick can bring down an empire. This approach can guide writers to write more effective dialogue in all other genres (love stories included). In the gangster picture, the dialogue is qualitative, not quantitative.
Exercise: as a writer, try writing a classic two-reel vignette (8 to 10 minutes), a la Mack Sennett or Buster Keaton. Take note when viewing that there is little to no dialogue (in the case of silents and few title cards) and almost pure action. As with all screenwriting, the character has to get from A to B using the shortest way possible; the obstacles create the tension and drama. The writer can create a tension-filled scenario where the protagonist has to get from A to B using no dialogue. These could include a prison break, a prom date, or anything with obstacles to overcome. This is a great exercise to keep the creative muscles in shape. If you are stuck mid-screenplay, it will be a huge help in looking at and re- thinking your screenplay.
Sebastian Corbascio is a writer/director who lives and works in San Francisco, California.
