A screenwriter’s main goal is a good story that satisfies an audience. Jonathan Moore explains three common pitfalls new screenwriters should avoid.
The single, most important objective that a screenwriter must have is to tell a good story that satisfies an audience. Everything is else is simply a support mechanism to that end. Many beginning screenwriters worry a great deal about how to put the story on the page. That is, they are seemingly obsessed with proper screenplay format when, in fact, format can be surprisingly simple and straightforward. Learning that proper format is of paramount importance because it allows the reader to focus on what is most important: the story.
The last thing a screenwriter wants is for the reader to be distracted by improper format and lack of professionalism. Distractions come in many and varied forms and must be eliminated. A writer should want a reading of his screenplay to be almost effortless and have the reader not even be aware that he or she is reading a screenplay. The story is the most important thing.
But if screenplay format is the tool and method by which a writer plies his trade, then he or she must understand how to write a screenplay on the page. While format is not difficult, there is always a learning curve for those just beginning to learn it. Pitfalls abound. What follows are three of the most common of those pitfalls.
Directing on the Page
Perhaps the most common mistake that this educator has seen is when students and beginning screenwriters take it upon themselves to be directors on the page. Directing on the page can take many forms, but the two most common are directing characters on how to say their lines – and camera angles/coverage.
Putting parenthetical direction below a character’s name in the dialogue column serves no purpose to the writer. No actor desires to have someone tell him how to deliver a line. That is the job of the director and, they too, will consider it unusual for a writer to address performance issues. For example:
WILLIAM (with an accusatory tone)
This is a no-no. The director may not necessarily feel that the character’s tone is “accusatory.” Furthermore, what is “accusatory” to the writer may be something entirely different to the director or the actor playing the character. If the scene is written well, there will be no question as to the kind of emotional impact a character’s words will have. Leave the directing to the director. As writers, our job is to write the story.
Of course, many beginning screenwriters are also motivated and talented young directors and, when they write, it’s nearly impossible to put themselves in writing mode only. While they may hear and see the way a character performs, they must resist the intoxicating urge to direct on the page. When an actor gets a copy of a screenplay, he or she will often want to work from scratch and develop their character’s performance with the director through rehearsal and exploration of the story. Get out of the habit of telling characters exactly how to deliver their lines. They will figure this out with the director soon and well enough.
Another form of directing on the page is to include coverage and camera angles. Leave those out! This might be acceptable if you are turning an original screenplay into a shooting script and preparing for production. If you are casting or rehearsing for a student film or short film – and you want your actors to read the screenplay – make sure there is no clutter on the page to distract them. It is more important that they focus on the story and where their characters fit in it. Likewise, if you have written a feature and you are seeking representation with an agency or trying to impress a producer or director – you’ll get nowhere by putting coverage in your screenplay. A director will often consider them useless because it is she that will ultimately decide what kind of coverage she will use to tell the story. Leave the close ups and dolly shots out of it. You are writing an original screenplay, not directing or shooting it. That will come later.
Only What You See and Hear
Screenplays should reflect only what is seen and heard by an audience in the theater – nothing more, nothing less. A general rule of thumb for the “only what you see and hear” concept is to remind oneself that the ushers at the theater will not be passing out copies of the screenplay when audiences go to see a film. Wouldn’t it be great if they did!
But, they don’t.
Audiences do not follow along with the film by thumbing through the pages of the screenplay. Therefore, a writer has only her words to describe exactly what the audience should see and hear when they are viewing a film. This means that, unlike a novel or short story, there can be no excessive and grand descriptions of inner thoughts or feelings. Does this mean that characters in films and television do not have inner thoughts and feelings? Of course not! They certainly do. But we must communicate those thoughts and feelings by having the audience see and/or hear something.
If a character is walking down a beach feeling especially distraught over some recent tragic event, then the writer must show that – “show” being the operative word. “Show, not tell” is a concept as old as storytelling itself. But, it works. There are always going to be bright and perceptive individuals in an audience, but most of them won’t be able to read a character’s mind! If one wants an audience to know that a particular character is deliriously happy about how a first date went, then it must be shown, not told. Consider:
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Michael walks down the middle of the street, thinking about how well the date with Karen had gone. He feels happy, giddy, warm inside and like a teenager all over again. He’s already daydreaming about kissing her again. He can hardly contain his excitement.
Now, if we were writing a short story, this might be well-played. But, we are writing a screenplay, not a short story. As it is, how does the audience know that Michael is happy and giddy and beside himself with the first stages of love and attraction? They don’t. They must be shown. A better, but not perfect, solution, could be:
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Michael skips down the middle of the street like a child, occasionally pausing to spin around on one foot like a figure skater. A smile is spread across his face. He’s also not silent, as he sings.
MICHAEL
Love is a groovy thing! Makes me feel like a new man! Not to mention that I want to sing!
He sees a couple in front of a house, about to have a goodnight kiss.
MICHAEL
Hey! Make it count, dude. Tonight – I sure did. I am in love!
He continues down the street, dancing and prancing all the way.
This may be an extreme, over the top example, but at least the audience knows how the character feels about the date that he had earlier tonight. Showing, not telling, is the important notion here. In the first and incorrect example, the writer is telling how the character feels – but not showing how he feels. This doesn’t work because the audience is not reading the scene description of the screenplay. They are only watching the film.
This particular concept is perhaps the single most common area that this writer sees mistakes in. After having been exposed to this type of pitfall and professing to understand it, many beginning screenwriters will still find that they struggle with it early in their writing. The only way to truly overcome it is to practice – to keep writing – and to proofread one’s work. Soon it will become second nature.
Basic Mechanics of Writing
Finally, the last common pitfall that confounds developing screenwriters is the lack of professionalism in their writing. Several years of reading screenplays by beginning and student screenwriters have convinced this writer of the importance of this age-old gripe of English teachers the world over. Solid grammar, spelling, sentence structure and punctuation are all extremely essential to the screenwriter. Earlier, it was mentioned that a screenwriter must always strive for the reading of their work to be effortless. Anything that is a distraction – that takes the reader out of the story – is bad news. The story is the thing! And writers cannot lose their readers’ attention, for it will stop the suspension of belief that what they are reading is real, right now and true.
When an agent, a producer, a director or an actor read a screenplay that is rife with errors, typos and other mistakes – they cannot help but surmise that the writer is an amateur or lazy. Either way they will deem him or her unprofessional. Just as when unnecessary camera angles distract the reader from the story, so can misspelled words, misused punctuation, and carelessness pull a reader out of a pivotal moment in the story. Everyone makes mistakes and one here or there is not going to make or break the success of a screenplay. But when they become excessive and begin attracting more attention than the story itself – there is a problem. Often, a writer only gets one chance to make an impression. Do not let careless mistakes in writing mechanics sabotage what might otherwise be a wonderful story that needs to be told. Don’t let your screenplay be rejected because of petty mistakes. More often than not, a screenplay with unprofessional writing will wind up in the trash bin!
Many new screenwriters mistakenly assume that the craft is easier than typical, fiction writing. You don’t have to write inner thoughts and feelings. You only write what is seen and heard. You don’t have to put camera angles and coverage in. And the audience will ultimately not read the film, but watch it on a screen. But it is precisely these reasons that screenwriting is among the most challenging forms of writing. Dealing with the above concepts can seem restrictive and repressive. But they are there for a reason: to ensure that the writer writes for the screen and the screen only.
As in all forms of writing – and art – nothing comes easily. It must be practiced and understood. Once one has mastered the basic precepts of the craft, he will soon feel not restrained, but free, unbridled creativity and excitement at using this form of writing to bring a great story to a screen near you!
Jonathan Moore is a screenwriter and an independent filmmaker. He holds the M.F.A. in film and television from UCLA. He is an assistant professor of Cinema Arts at Vanguard University of Southern California, where he is in charge of the screenwriting curriculum.
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